What 200 Hours of Yoga Teacher Training Taught Me About Myself

I’m going to begin by calling out the elephant in the room (...or on the screen). Yes, I am certified to teach yoga. But no, I am not yet teaching! Gasp. Theeeee scandal of it all. 😉

After completing your YTT, you may go straight to teaching a weekly class, agree to be a sub and ease into teaching, or maybe you won’t teach at all. There isn’t one clear-cut goal or path, and that is not only okay, but it is also encouraged by the YTT instructors. There are many reasons to say yes to YTT, and not all of them result in becoming a yoga teacher at the end of your 200 hours.

There is a tremendous amount of value to be gleaned in the 200-hour process. During my training, I gained a much deeper understanding of my own practice by learning the rich history and philosophy of yoga, anatomy, pose breakdown, sequencing, and breathwork. Not to mention, I walked away with even more of an appreciation for our Ahh Yoga instructors. The effort and love they pour into each class is astounding!

For me, YTT felt like undergoing straight-up exposure therapy. I was petrified to teach. Public speaking, a room full of people relying on me to guide them successfully through a flow that is a perfectly constructed balance between challenging and soothing to the mind and body, remembering all 45–60 minutes of content (this from someone who regularly enters a room and slowly turns in a circle, muttering to herself, “Why did I walk in here?”).... It felt like a BIG swing.

But I LOVE yoga. Specifically, I love Ahh Yoga. I’ve been taking classes at the studio for about 15 years. People frequently mistake me for a teacher versus the superfan I actually am. Over the years, I often wondered whether I could teach. If I should teach. And then Betsy offered YTT at Ahh for the first time. She encouraged me to sign up. Guys, I was SO afraid. But after mulling it over with my family and my circle of friends (which includes Betsy as well as Maddie Seifert, another indispensable Ahh instructor—so yes, there may have been a touch of bias), I decided to be afraid and do it anyway because it would always nag at me if I didn’t at least try.

There were a few times during the training when I wondered what I’d gotten myself into. My big fears didn’t go away overnight. But I put my head down, did the work, and trusted the process. And eventually, the voices of self-doubt got a little quieter. The panic I felt walking into training shifted into nervous excitement, and then finally into confidence and, dare I say it, I had fun. I stopped white-knuckling my teaching notes and started to trust my ability. I found a rhythm. I created flows. I learned to refine cues and modifications. I practiced A LOT. I stood up in front of my peers, in front of my family, and I spoke. I TAUGHT. I discovered I could wrangle big fears and learn skills that had felt insurmountable just a few months earlier.

I think as we step further into adulthood —and some of us into parenthood —we let go of certain pieces of ourselves to make space for our new realities: the daily grind, the kids, the demands of careers. We pour our finite energy into our day-to-day responsibilities. YTT provided an opportunity to become reacquainted with parts of myself I’d left by the wayside as time marched on. It forced me to slow down and be open. Every week, I could walk through the studio doors and simply be a student. By the end of those 200 hours, I found something both humbling and empowering. I was forced to face my self-doubt head-on and build myself back up with the fortification I’d been missing before YTT, thanks to the leadership of the most incredible, knowledgeable, perfectly balanced team of teachers who guided me and my peers throughout our journey.

The best part was having my kids and husband front and center for the experience, always rooting me on and acting as willing students (special thanks to my husband, Henry, who took my certification class upwards of 100 times while I practiced). I did YTT for myself, but I am so grateful it afforded me the opportunity to show my kids the importance of going for things that are important to them, and that I was able to show them that we can and should do hard things.

Maybe I’ll teach yoga in the future. Maybe I won’t. But now I know that I absolutely can. And that’s a priceless revelation for this yogi. If you’re considering signing up for YTT, for whatever reason, I encourage you to say yes.